Miscarriage Causes: How to Stop Stressing About Having One While You're Pregnant
Most pregnant women think about miscarriage symptoms and feel scared that it could happen to them. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first baby or the tenth. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t plan this pregnancy. It doesn’t matter if you’re planning to give your baby to an adoptive family.
Show me a pregnant woman and I’ll show you someone who researches miscarriage causes and fears losing her baby.
I mean, I totally get it- I’ve been pregnant four times and every damn time I had those unpleasant thoughts jump into my brain.
After you peed on that little stick and saw a positive sign, didn’t your heart do a little jump?
That pregnancy test holds so much hope and excitement for the future for most of us. This is even more true if you finally became pregnant after struggling with infertility or miscarriages.
But how can you calm your negative thoughts so you can enjoy being pregnant? Is it even possible?
The good news is that there are things you can do to calm your thoughts and enjoy your pregnancy!
Contents of this article:
Stop Googling Symptoms of Miscarriage
That’s right. Ain’t no more anxious pregnant woman than the one who’s Googling every damn thing that could possibly go wrong with her pregnancy. So, if this sounds familiar to you- just stop! The truth is, you’re already worried about having a miscarriage so doing a deep-dive online is only going to reinforce your fears. Have you ever heard of that saying: where your focus goes, your attention grows? You can actually start convincing yourself that you’re going to have a miscarriage because as Drake reminded us:
The power of the mind is not a JOKE!
So, stop feeding your precious brain with what-if’s by turning off your laptop!
Accept Your Pregnant Situation
As a pregnant woman, your chance of miscarrying in the first trimester is around 10-15%. It’s not a huge number, but it’s big enough to put you in the company of a lot of other women. During conception and fetal development, a lot is going on in the first 3 months! Sometimes things don’t come together as they should and your body’s natural response is to miscarry a baby that wouldn’t develop otherwise.
I know you know this, and I feel like a bit of an asshole for reminding you, but Mother Nature can be a straight-up bitch sometimes.
Grieve Any Babies You’ve Lost
If you’ve had a miscarriage in the past, you may find yourself caught up in a guilt-loop that hangs around for every pregnancy after. It’s not uncommon for women to wonder if it was something they ate, drank and did or didn’t do. But the truth is that first trimester miscarriages are most often caused by chromosomal abnormalities that are out of anyone’s control, including yours. Please, please don’t blame yourself, Mama.
Focus on what you can do.
So, while the development of your baby is all in the hands of your body, you can support it by eating a balanced diet, moderately exercising for 30 minutes most days of the week, not consuming drugs, alcohol or cigarettes and managing your daily stress.
When you feel the panic, anxiety and intrusive thoughts coming on, focus on your breathing
I know, I know...sounds so simple, right? But there’s a reason why every wellness expert on the planet is telling us to focus on breath: because it works!
Try this: Breathe in for 5 seconds while you push your belly out, breathe in for 5 seconds while you bring your belly back in. The combination of counting and focusing on your body will distract your negative thoughts.
(RELATED: 5 Ways to Conquer Your Fear of Birth)
Seriously, just stop what you’re doing and look around at your surroundings. What do you see, hear, taste, feel or smell? What’s happening around you at this exact moment is important because it’s really all you have. The past has already happened and you can’t do anything about it. The future hasn’t happened yet so there’s nothing you can do about it either. All you have is what’s happening in this moment, right now.
Take the perinatal anxiety and depression test.
Download this test (with instructions) to see if you have perinatal anxiety and/or depression. Some studies say that up to 20% of women will experience some form of depression or anxiety while they’re pregnant. It can feel really weird to be excited about having a baby but unable to enjoy pregnancy because of depression or anxiety. It doesn’t mean you’re not going to be an amazing mom! But you may need to talk with your doctor about how you’re feeling. The perinatal anxiety and depression test is a great way to start a difficult conversation.
Find support from other women.
It’s so hard to find non-judgemental support from online groups on Facebook. There are so many women just ready to bash your feelings or situation. Also, do you really want to talk about your deepest and darkest secrets with a public profile?
That’s why I created the Mamasoup App. It’s specifically for pregnant and postpartum moms to reach out and support each other during a huge transition: motherhood.
The app is free, anonymous and location-based so you can even meet up with women in your own city. Download it now on iOs and Android- there’s a whole bunch of women over there who understand how you’re feeling right now. And they’re waiting to give you a virtual hug!
(RELATED: About Me)
Joanne Ilaqua - CEO of MamaSoup
Hey there, I’m Joanne.
I’ve spent about 20 years serving women as a nurse, doula and Lamaze educator. I have 4 kids and I know firsthand how lonely and isolating motherhood can be, so I created MamaSoup. I'm mostly known for my love of red wine, spontaneously singing and my confidence in being my true self on social media. When I’m not busy building women up, you can catch me taking Instagram stories of my bulldog Ruby, watching The Handmaid’s Tale, playing MUber (Mom Uber) to my kids or vacationing in my favourite town: Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
I love serving the world by providing a space for moms to connect and support each other. In my opinion, moms are the backbone of communities because they are (literally) raising the future!
As the founder and CEO of MamaSoup, I’ve been featured on CHEX TV Morning Show, KawarthaNOW, Economic Development- The City of Kawartha Lakes and MyKawartha.
Still with me? Join me over at MamaSoup to keep the conversation going!